Before leaving the land of enchantment, I mentioned a run-in with Johnny Law. The trial was closed and it was the common opinion that justice for one and all would best be served if this incident was not an impediment to me leaving town to join the navy. As such I was awarded probation for six months for the assault charge and misdemeanor. The ex-military reading this will no doubt recall that recruiters are insidious liars and mine was no different. He told me not to say a word about the little encounter, and all would be well.
In the meantime I succeeded in losing my driver’s license for six months due to accumulating three times the required points for suspension. And to top it off, my buddy and I got royally trashed my last weekend home which resulted in a glorious hangover. In my mind, the best cure for that was to help myself to my mother’s prescription pain killers to make Snow White and her buddies knock it off with the head hammers.
What’s the most important first test that you get to take when you join the navy? Swimming? Nope, the whiz quiz and I failed with flying colors with a substance that I wasn’t legally allowed to take. Add that to some very angry acting people in uniform yelling at you that if anything had changed in your legal status, that you had better confess – so I confessed. Kind of like sports – not much of a fan unless its soccer, but I do know that in baseball it is 3 strikes and your out. I found out in short order that for the program I had enlisted for, the Navy had no interest in someone with a bad driving record, failed urinalysis, and probation – NOPE, NO WAY. In military terms that is defined as Fraudulent Enlistment, because while the recruiter was telling me not to say anything at boot camp, he was having me sign a paper that said my legal status was unchanged. In hindsight, this is another moment where God nudged things I think. After letters, phone calls and such with my mother, a lawyer and naval legal personnel, my probation was changed to a fine which I cheerfully paid and I was allowed to stay in the navy. The other marvelous thing was the navy left me as an E3 and only four years required (was originally six) and I should have been reduced to an E1, which is lower than whale dung.
Boot camp is the military’s garden of mind games combined with copious amounts of physical exercise to keep your yin in line with your yang and a formal education of naval history & terminology; e.g., a wall is a bulkhead, a bathroom is the head, etc. Other than that, there’s not really much to be said about except that I survived it without further incident.
After boot camp , I got to go home on leave and be reminded that I had made the right choice by enlisting. Seeing a lot of my old high school buddies locked in the same mindless spiral provided justification. Even after all of the legal entanglement and spit spewing drill instructor (called company commander in naval parlance). In that brief 10 days or so of leave and in combination with obligatory drunkenness; I fell in love, or at least I thought I did. The young lady and I were very enamored with one another, and considered ourselves ‘pre-engaged’ in very short order. This relationship was not consummated (not that I didn’t try), and the plan was to become fully engaged – if not marry; upon my final duty assignment.
The next naval chapter was formal schooling in the machinist’s mate trade which was held in the great white north. I completed my training without complications – the navy did have a way of keeping me busy. Then it was another brief trip home before I had to report to my final duty station which happened to be an aircraft carrier based out of Florida. While home time was also spent romancing my new love that I had met during last leave period. Needless to say my mother was none too happy that I spent minimal time with her and disproportionate time getting drunk and trying “to try on my new pair of shoes,” otherwise known as deflowering the bride to be.
On to Blue Water Train.
Or back to the previous blog High School – Land of Enchantment
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